Reflections: When the time is right, I'll let go. For Leo.

Going back in time to when I was 21-years-old. I had recently graduated and had married my college sweetheart. I was young, naive and pregnant. I wrote poetry for my unborn son and I played all types of music for him. I could feel him moving in my belly and I thought that the music probably made him happy or want to dance. That's my son, I thought to myself.
 
Fast forward to 17 years later. The child that I have loved so very much, even since before he was born, is almost a grown man. Every day I see the boy disappearing and the man appearing. The man emerges in his actions, in his words. He is set on what he wants to do and isn't afraid to admit that he is still learning and doesn't have all the answers.
 
When he needs me, he lets me know. He always tries to solve his problems because he's independent that way, but knows that I'm here for him when and if he needs me. The hardest part is letting go. I used to make all the decisions for him, or at least most of them. Things have changed. He is strong in his convictions and once his mind is made up, not even I can sway him. He is no pushover. I admire his courage--one that I personally am still working on. He already possesses that courage in his 17-years of life.
 
He is the young man/person I always hoped he would grow up to be. He is a tough one. But he also has one of the most compassionate hearts I've ever known. He truly cares about humanity.  I am most proud of the fact that he's a good human being -- the strong one with the heart of gold.
 
Because he and I have been a team for most of his upbringing (his father and I divorced when he was a small child), it's hard for me to let go, but I will...eventually. I will not stand in the way of his dreams. He deserves to fly, just like I've done. All of this is bittersweet to me. More sweet than bitter.  So when the time comes for him to go off to college and fight the good fight for his own dreams, I will open the door for him and keep prayers and love in my heart.
 
Priscilla Rice is an actor, poet, mother and aspiring samba dancer. She studied Broadcast Journalism at The University of Texas at Austin and has worked as a radio news/traffic reporter and assignment editor for various television stations. She currently works as an interpreter/translator. She is originally from Crystal City, TX and resides in Dallas with her son, Leo.
 
Fast forward to 17 years later. The child that I have loved so very much, even since before he was born, is almost a grown man. Every day I see the boy disappearing and the man appearing. The man emerges in his actions, in his words. He is set on what he wants to do and isn't afraid to admit that he is still learning and doesn't have all the answers.
 
When he needs me, he lets me know. He always tries to solve his problems because he's independent that way, but knows that I'm here for him when and if he needs me. The hardest part is letting go. I used to make all the decisions for him, or at least most of them. Things have changed. He is strong in his convictions and once his mind is made up, not even I can sway him. He is no pushover. I admire his courage--one that I personally am still working on. He already possesses that courage in his 17-years of life.
 
He is the young man/person I always hoped he would grow up to be. He is a tough one. But he also has one of the most compassionate hearts I've ever known. He truly cares about humanity.  I am most proud of the fact that he's a good human being -- the strong one with the heart of gold.
 
Because he and I have been a team for most of his upbringing (his father and I divorced when he was a small child), it's hard for me to let go, but I will...eventually. I will not stand in the way of his dreams. He deserves to fly, just like I've done. All of this is bittersweet to me. More sweet than bitter.  So when the time comes for him to go off to college and fight the good fight for his own dreams, I will open the door for him and keep prayers and love in my heart.
 
Priscilla Rice is an actor, poet, mother and aspiring samba dancer. She studied Broadcast Journalism at The University of Texas at Austin and has worked as a radio news/traffic reporter and assignment editor for various television stations. She currently works as an interpreter/translator. She is originally from Crystal City, TX and resides in Dallas with her son, Leo.